I ain't country.

My almost-sorta-brand-new friend Mark likes country music, so I e-mailed him to begrudgingly let him know what my "country music cred" was.

I wrote:

I need to confess something to you. Try not to gasp. I don't know how important this is to you in considering potential friends. I am not a huge fan of country music, but I can get by if need be. I'm better with older people than with modern, even though I begrudgingly admit that Kenny Chesney is kinda hot.

Here's my country music cred:

I once followed a group of cloggers onstage during a country music concert that my mom took me to, and I tried to fake my way through the dance - even though I just followed one of my friends onstage not knowing she was a performer. I was wearing sneakers. This incident is referred to in my family as "The Accidental Clogging."

One of my sitters as a child was a HUGE Alabama fan. Another was a Conway Twitty and Crystal Gayle fan. I used to watch "Barbara Mandrell and the Mandrell Sisters," that TV show with the Krofft puppets. My hometown was used to film the Kenny Rogers movie "Six Pack." I remember seeing Sylvester Stallone and Dolly Parton in "Rhinestone" at the movie theater. I interviewed Whisperin' Bill Anderson once when I worked for newspapers. I liked "Hee Haw" when I was 7. I recommended Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places" for the senior class song in high school - as a joke. I met Travis Tritt once in the lobby of the Omni Hotel at CNN Center. I've seen Willie Nelson in concert, know that Johnny Cash is cool and know that Patsy Cline's "Crazy" is always the best song on the Waffle House jukebox.

I think Toby Keith is a gigantic tool. And I like the Charlie Daniels Band but disagree with them politically.

The last country albums I bought were the Dixie Chicks' "Home," Mary Chapin Carpenter's "Essential" album, Nanci Griffith's folky "One Warm Summer Night" and the absolutely awesome Dolly Parton tribute album, "Just Because I'm a Woman." I suppose you could consider the Bonnie Raitt album I bought over Christmas as a crossover.

Anyway, write back if you're not mortified by my complete lack of country cred. I appreciate education.

Mark wrote back and asked me to marry him.