Everyone's trying to make me happy, she says.

I spoke with my mother again. I was stressed out about bills, and talking to her helps me put things in perspective. Plus, she told me what she wants for Christmas.

She said everyone is willing to arrange their schedules on Christmas so that I can be happy. Jeremy and Misty say they can come later this year so that I can attend, but my mother told them that was unnecessary. My mother said she would let me know when everyone was going to be around so that I wouldn't see anyone. She says everyone's rearranging their schedules to make me happy.

She says Jerry wants a gift from me because he helps her buy my gifts, my brother gives him one and his son gives my mother one. So I'm the only one who isn't buying the stepparent a gift, and it's as though I'm walking around, reminding everyone that there was an argument.

She said it's difficult for her every year because he complains about it all year long. That's when I asked her why he wants a gift from me.

She said everyone's going to great lengths to make me happy. To do whatever I want.

I said I appreciated everyone's sacrifices and that I'd be more than happy to see her one day before or two days before Christmas. My mother said she wants to see me on Christmas.

She said it's annoying that we have to go through this, that I bring up the same issues, every year.

She said that I only see the argument of that July night from my perspective, that I see it from no one else's. I asked her if she realized it was a culmination of a lot of things. She says she knows that.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.