I'm nervous whenever I talk to Vic, and I stammer. And I'm sure I'm really annoying, but she sounds different. And she tells me I don't need to be nervous, but I still stammer. And the whole thing is like stupid-weird. She's grieving, and I'm behaving like some comedian bombing at the Catskills.
Four friends of mine got together with me yesterday, and we arranged to send her a Peace Lily plant. And I had to go and tell her today about how the whole thing came about, rather than just shut up and be fine. And I had to tell her that we all wanted her to know that we cared for her, which is basically the sort of thing she'd probably already figured out from the card.
I feel so dumb. I don't know what to say to her. I just talk to her so that she'll know I'm there. And I don't want to go when I'm on the phone with her, even though everything I say makes it sound like I have nothing more to say. I just keep talking and talking.
She's invited to A Very Kacoon Thanksgiving, which is now the official name of the Thanksgiving celebration I'm throwing, but Vic's working. She told me, because I was concerned, that this year's Thanksgiving at her house is going to be light and sorta potluck. I shouldn't have asked her about that, but I was concerned.
She was more concerned that I was thinking things I was afraid to ask. I'm never one for tact, and that's sorta what she appreciates about me. And that's where I fear I'm going to go wrong.
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