Historical fiction.

Jenipher told me that she had the day off yesterday and that she spent it reading "historical fiction." I asked her if Fabio was on the cover, and she said that it was an ambitious, serious John Jakes novel.

Whatever.

I made up a plot of "historical fiction" for Jenipher to read, the good kind that you find at Wal-mart.

I provide it now to you all:

In 1710, Alexandra Cummings was a newcomer to Salem, Massachusetts, but the townsfolk had immediately branded her as "trouble." Her haunting beauty, her revealing outfits and her insatiable hunger for life made her an immediate outcast. Men who saw her burned with desire, and the women of her church were threatened by what they thought she represented, something passionate and evil.

Dashing town lawyer Silas Roberts, also an outcast because his ambitious nature clashed with the humble farmers of the quiet area, found Alexandra a fiery spirit with flame-red hair. However much he tried, though, she continually rejected his attempts at courtship, clashing with him through passionate arguments at many a quilting bee or butter-churning.However, when the church measures her sins and brands her a witch, Silas provided Alexandra with her only hope for survival.

And, facing the possibility of death, the untamed beauty soon found her only solace was in his arms.