Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Have a little faith in me.

I was visiting Kacoon yesterday when a call came over my cell phone from an unidentified number that looked familiar, yet I couldn't place it.

"Hello," I said into my phone.

"Hi Benjie," said a familiar voice.

"Ronald? Is that you?" I asked the voice, thinking that it belonged to Ronald, this cool customer who hangs out at my store. Ronald, who is 17, and I spent some time together at the mall, and I told him that I would be a more reliable friend than the ones he knew before he went through rehab. I hadn't heard from

"What?" the voice said. "No, this is Ashley."

He was calling from the front gate at my apartment. I wasn't home, but the call bounced through.

So he went home, finding me not at home. He said he was just in the area and stopped by.

I have no idea what was going to happen, though I am curious about it.

Ash took up a good portion of the discussion in my therapy yesterday.

I don't know if I should want him, don't think I should want him, know that I do want him for a purpose, know as well that it's probably better to wait on someone else than to deal with him and, unfortunately, know that I'd be willing to do pretty much whatever he wanted me to do if he asked me.

That's not good.

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