Thursday, June 16, 2005

The complicated way of doing nothing.

I regret that I've been mean and pissy to anyone who tried to help me with job suggestions or with questions about how I might narrow my job search. My resume, for five years, has existed somewhere between "weak" and "hypothetical." I have tremendous skepticism that I'll find any work that actually resembles anything that I'd actually want to do. (I asked a guy for advice on how to find a job today, and he told me that it required insider friends and luck and then said, "Oh yeah, I'd be lucky to work there myself.")

Everyone agrees with me that it's time for me to move on. Larry said "Headhunters." Someone else asked me, "What do you want to do with your life?" I treated that question with unnecessary derision.

I've spent the last five years asking people for minor information, sitting in a cube on the phone or looking at the Internet. I feel trapped, like there's no way out.

"Apply for a job you would really like. Do something."

I don't know if such work exists.

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