How to fit.

I'm stuck to the chair in my cubicle and can't move. I don't have anywhere to really be tonight. I was invited to a trivia game, but I can't quite bring myself to get up.

You ever wonder how you fit in with other people? Wonder where your group of like minds is?

You compare yourself to your friends, and you see how you mesh well with them and other ways that you clash. I'm like a glaring shirt looking for anything that matches.

I feel like I'm better than some people. I can't gauge exactly what sort of person I am compared to others.

Does this seem strange? People do this all the time, right?

I need some space from Kacoon and Mike, which I think would be good for everyone, and it's my decision to take time off from them.

The bookstore hasn't been scheduling me as much lately, so the thing that used to fill the majority of my free time has now, for the time being, left me with lots of free time and less money. As a result, I don't know what to do with myself.

Last night, I found myself having a really good conversation with Nick the Cute Waiter, whose own gay experience is rather removed from my own. I'm not sure how to relate. I think about the gay people I knew in college. I don't really fit with them either, and I envy them from time to time. However, their lives are so far removed from mine.

I think about the political and religious people. I don't really know how to relate deeply with them.

Sometimes, I even feel alienated from the film geeks, which frightens me.

Everyone goes through this. I just need a vacation, and I'm going to take one. I need a direction, and I'll find one. I need new friends, and I'll find out where I fit with them.