The "RILEY MCCARTHY NON-DATE -- YOU MAKE THE CALL!" contest.

ATTENTION READERS!!!!

Tomorrow, I am supposed to hang out with Nick the Cute Waiter at someplace other than the Mall of Georgia. Now, the jury's still out on whether this is an actual date or not. I think it's not.

Nick the Cute Waiter just turned 21. I'm 27. I've known him since he was in high school. He used to not like to talk to me, when he was an irksome customer in my store, but he says I'm nice to him now.

Regarding the non-date, I asked him, but I said I wasn't hitting on him. He said, "Oh, one thing you'll have to notice is that I'm flirtatious with everyone. It doesn't mean anything." We stayed on the phone for about two hours, watching LEGALLY BLONDE in our respective homes and making comments. We've been talking on the phone since Christmas, though he and I have done the number exchange since last summer. He does not have a boyfriend, for he just broke up with the person he was seeing. So this is not a date. He's way cuter than me. I'm a troll. Not a date.

The only criteria regarding this meeting with Nick is that it must occur somewhere other than the Mall of Georgia. We both work there. We both shop there. He lives near there. Once, when I was asking him to hang out, I said that I just wanted to see him someplace other than that same block where we met, which is the only place I've ever seen him.

I, myself, am against seeing a movie with him, though he suggested that as a potential thing.

I told him that I would come up with something interesting. Honestly, I just want to be able to talk with him and do something quirky yet entertaining. I don't want him to be horribly bored. Brainstorming the possibilities, I've realized that I'm not good at spontaneity.

The options for my non-date are:



* Window-shopping at Phipps Plaza and dinner there. Nick likes designer clothes. He's pro-Gucci. He's also, he let it leak, pro-Phipps Plaza. I like designer clothes. I'm pro-Armani. (Not the evil Armani Exchange. Actual Armani.) It doesn't matter if you can't afford anything if the store is so pricey that you're basically just there to look anyway, and I have fun browsing at Phipps, where I will not be able to actually purchase anything until I've sold my second bestseller. Nick said he was keen on this idea, to be honest, but ... come on, window shopping??? I had fun doing it with my friend Michael, but I don't know if this is so much a non-date of a non-date that I'm not being tested by Nick the Cute Waiter in some way. I don't want to come off bad, even if I'm not (and shouldn't be) interested in him.



* Over coffee, I prove to Nick the Cute Waiter that I can write. Imagine the scene. At a Starbucks, perhaps the pro-gay Ansley Mall Starbucks that used to intimidate me, we sit and chat, and I bring some of my essays and attempt, in an animated way, to be myself and be charming. Hopefully, he will laugh. If not, then he'll just call me a jaded, old queen and maybe throw hot tea in my face. Either way, it's a memorable outing.



* Trivia, the Atlanta gay community and eating at Joe's. This has actually worked for me, with friends, before. Usually, though, I know the person better. Jai and I did trivia at Joe's on Juniper one Wednesday a couple months ago. And it's right in the heart of gay Atlanta, so Nick the cute waiter will be able to indulge in the requisite "Oh my God, it's the oft-rumored gay community I've only dreamed of!" cultural awakening that little gay boys his age are prone to do, if he hasn't seen the rainbow flags of Outwrite Bookstore already. (Of course, I think this would be amusing, though slightly boring since I don't go to Outwrite Bookstore and it is still a bookstore -- so it'd be like going to Mall of Georgia, except gayer.) But what if he's bad at trivia? Or what if he thinks me old and boring? Oh wait, this isn't a date.

* Other suggestions. If you feel the need to fill in the blank, remember that I can't afford skydiving, that not everyone's into bondage or art cinema ... and remember that my outing with Nick the Cute Waiter is NOT A DATE. Of course, I don't think he's going to cancel, but I'm not sure what might happen. I don't know if I have to pick him up ... or if he's going to meet me somewhere. It's all up in the air.

To participate in this contest, please e-mail me your choice or suggestion regarding the non-date, set to take place Thursday night in the metro Atlanta area. If you know of some event that I'm missing and could afford, let me know. If I end up doing what you suggested, then you win the contest. If you end up picking one of my suggestions, which is also fine, then I will choose a winner at random from the selectors of the winning option.

The winner of the contest will win a dinner with me, set to take place some other time during which I'll host the second "RILEY MCCARTHY NON-DATE -- YOU MAKE THE CALL!" contest.

So, you see, it's cyclical.

Now let's play.