My friend Lupo sent me this survey. These were my answers.

1. What's your full name? Benjamin Jeffery Carr

2. What kind of pants are you wearing? Khaki pants!

3. What are you listening to right now? "Hairspray," Original Broadway Cast Recording. I am so gay.

4. What was the last thing you ate? Sausage Egg and Cheese Sandwich at the Waffle House with my dad.

5. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Burnt Sienna.

6. Where did you go on your honeymoon? Vic and I once faked a honeymoon at a B&B in Charleston, S.C., so I guess I have technically been on a honeymoon. (We had the Honeymoon Suite, and we stayed up all night watching the Oscars. I am, I repeat, so gay.)

7. Last person you talked to on the phone? Vic.

8. What's the first thing you notice about the SAME sex? Arms.

9. Who sent this to you? Lupo.

10. Do you like the person that sent you this? I suppose. Hee hee.

11. Your favorite drink? Chocolate milk.

12. Favorite alcoholic drink? Lately, I've been partial to Amaretto Sours. I am so gay.

13. Favorite outdoor activity? What, you mean I have to go outside?

14. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball.

15. What's the next CD you're going to get? Macy Gray's newest one, probably.

16. Did you ever wear braces? No, I wasn't one of those poor, unfortunate freaks. Oh wait, I had leg braces post-surgeries. Do those count?

17. Best memories: My stepfather beating the hell out of a hotel smoke detector out of frustration until it fell off the wall because he had to indulge in a pack of Winstons. My stepfather urinating in the middle of the road on our way out of a Lake Lanier campground to show his displeasure with the service we received while there. My stepfather, having witnessed a fatal helicopter crash, getting interviewed on television about it and making all the crashing helicopter noises and descriptive arm-waving movements that he could during his interview. Winning almost every spelling bee I ever entered. Having Coretta Scott King call me "really cute" when she saw me sing with the Atlanta Boy Choir when I was 5. Bringing my She-Ra dolls to Fourth Grade Show-And-Tell, only to have Sheila Scroggs chase me around the playground for them.

18. Favorite restaurant? T.G.I.McScratchy's GoodeTyme Foodrinkery (Very funny, Lupo. It reminds me of when I told you we should go eat at some "generic American cuisine place.")

My favorite is, surprisingly enough, the American Cafe or, if I'm feeling the urge for a Kickin' Chicken Sandwich, Zaxby's.

19. Siblings and their ages? Brother named Dan, age 25. Stepbrother named Jeremy, age 28.

20. Favorite month? October

21. Favorite foods: Kickin' Chicken Sandwich with Tongue Torch Sauce from Zaxby's.

22. Last movie you watched? 20 minutes of 28 DAYS LATER.

23. Are you too shy to ask someone out? Apparently, I'm not.

24. Favorite place to go on a date? A bedroom, I suppose.

Roller disco (Liar. Your life ain't TALES OF THE CITY.)

25. Do you like scary or happy movies better? Both.

26. Summer or winter? Winter. It's too damn hot in Georgia.

28. Your idea of the perfect vacation? I've always wanted to hit a film festival.

29. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate ice cream.

30. Who is most likely to respond? Usually me.

31. Who is least likely to respond? Lupo.

32. What books are you reading? LIFE OF PI, Yann Martel. TROUBLE WITH NORMAL. THE WITCHES OF EASTWICK. THE BONFIRE OF THE VANITIES. I KNOW THIS MUCH IS TRUE.

33. What's on your mouse pad? My mouse.

34. Favorite magazine? Entertainment Weekly

35. Favorite smell? New car.

36. Least favorite smell? Old lady.

37. Worst feeling in the world? I'm not sure if it's a defined feeling, but the sentiment is usually expressed like, "No one loves me. I want to die."

38. How many rings before you answer the door? However long it takes me to put on clothes and turn off the VCR ...

39. Future child's name? Jonathan or Nellie, to remind me of the person who sent me this.

40. Glass half empty or half full? Half empty. I'm a damn realist.

41. Favorite movie: THE PHILADELPHIA STORY, MANHATTAN and REBECCA.

42. One nice thing about the person that sent this to you? He's pleasantly endowed.

43. What's under your bed? Porn. Laundry.

44. How long do you spend on the computer? 7.5 hours, according to the McGraw-Hill payroll.

45. Many friends or one best friend? My best friend is whoever's paying attention that day.

46. Favorite current TV shows? 24. GILMORE GIRLS. Oh, and I watched WHICH GOLD-DIGGING, PAST-HER-PRIME TRAMP WANTS TO BE MY DAD'S VAPID TROPHY WIFE last night. To my surprise, it was on NBC, not Fox.

47. What is your #1 obsession? Ask my therapist what his name is THIS week. I also like writing Amazon reviews.

48. Did you like this questionnaire? It passed the time pleasantly, and I liked that I tried, once again, to be both honest and shocking.

49. When is your birthday? June 21. (Oh, I see ... This was all a thinly-veiled reminder that Lupo's birthday is approaching. Very clever.)

50. How many kids do you have? The last kid I had was named Ryan, but he doesn't call me anymore.