Something else.

I want to think about something besides money. I want to write fake stories. I want them to make me happy. I want to create a world that I can escape to. I want to not have to compartmentalize the things that require worry, then take them up one at a time and face them. I want to escape worry.

I want to work today. I want to be able to concentrate - but I've not been able to do so. I mean, I picked up my car and drove it back to the office. I am now the only one here.

I can't escape. I can't get out. I can't leave. I have stuff to do. I'm not doing it. I'm freaking out.

I have laundry to do. I have books that I bought and haven't read. I have my apartment that isn't clean.

I'm going to Europe, but I have no money to go. I have rent to pay and bills to pay and stuff to pay. And everyone has that. So it's not as big a deal as it seems when it hits us over the head on days like today.

I want to escape.