Not quite an insomniac.

I just checked my reviewer rank on Amazon.com, and it's happened.

I am one of the site's Top 1,000 Reviewers!

Jenipher will be incredibly proud of me, for she thinks obsessively writing Amazon reviews on anything - even my George Foreman Grill - is the dorkiest thing I've ever done.

I saw that I was ranked 982 now, which means it just happened. I just moved up. I mean, I was on the cusp for the longest time, but now those folks at Amazon have deemed me worthy!

"I learned the truth at 17, that love was meant for beauty queens ..."

And now, at age 27, I feel just like a beauty queen! Yay, Amazon.com, yay!

I must maintain my title, though, so I'll have to keep writing reviews. Review after review. I mustn't let myself get a big head over this. Or let my desire to write useful, amusing reviews wane. I must hold this up as the important accomplishment that it is!

Gandhi's calling was for peace. Mother Teresa's calling was to feed homeless orphans in destitute areas. Princess Diana spent the majority of her life campaigning for humanitarian causes, like ridding the world of landmines that harmed and killed small children.

My calling is to write Amazon reviews. I provide a service. The public NEEDS me at my keyboard.

I am so proud right now that I could cry.