Black like me.

Black and I were talking again last night, and he keeps telling me that he's boring. He's not. If he's boring, then I am, and I'm not boring. I don't think I'm putting Black on a pedestal or anything by saying that, but I've been thinking lately that I eventually come to a point in my friendships with straight guys where a line is crossed. The whole straight-boy dumb crush thing, which often curses my people, hits me.

Thankfully, I have managed to avoid it with Black and yet been able to continue talking with him on a comfortable, open level that we both understand, thank God.

(I was reminded of the dumb crush thing a couple days ago when my friend Lance, married to a woman who's pregnant with their first child, started to ask me seemingly leading questions about how gay sex is different from straight sex, and I freaked out, thinking he was going to request a demonstration or something.)

While talking to Black, he actually asked me what I was looking for in a guy, i.e. should he happen to meet someone gay - what criteria would be necessary to point them in my direction?

Now, I told him I have a list of what I like in a guy, which I wrote earlier this year, but I couldn't find it last night.

I remember only a bit of the list. It included this, I think:

A guy who I could talk to. A guy who could give me space. A guy I would hold a common ground with. A guy who understood the baggage I come with and was willing to accept it. A guy who gave me space to grow. A guy willing to help me enjoy sex more, understanding my hangups with it. A guy who understood spirituality enough to discuss it but didn't necessarily embrace it. A guy who didn't blindly like what I did but instead had his own opinions about things similar to the stuff that I liked so that we could chat about it. A guy who wore glasses.

It was nice of Black to ask me what I liked. Sometimes, in talks with him, I feel like I'm the only one talking and that I'm talking in ridiculous, unnecessary platitudes to him.

I guess it's possible that the only reason I don't think Black is boring is because I too am boring. But wouldn't I know if that were the case?

Today, Black, Miss Gibson and I engaged in a discussion of "open marriage" perameters. Is that something boring people talk about? I think not.

When I talk to him, I think Black's on the same page as me, that we're alike. I wish I could find a gay guy who was like that, but I haven't yet.