Those who can't do ...

I want to write a book within the next year. And the book that I want to write needs to be a romantic comedy.

Because I know nothing about love and even less about romance, I think I'm the precise person to write such a book, a book that I would actually want to read. I don't think, as of yet, that I've actually written anything with a coherent plot that people would actually want to read. I only ever write about myself, and I'm, thus far, only successful at keeping a journal or writing a ridiculously silly soap opera.

I thought of writing screenplays, dramatically moving "great novels" and cheesy television shows. I wonder if I could, with any degree of success, actually be able to write funny chick-lit, the sort my friend Jenipher would read about love and shopping. I met this local author Emily Giffin, who's written a fairly successful chick-lit book. She autographed my copy.

I decided I need to write a book in the next year.

I figured out that my latest problematic affair is, funnily enough, one of the most normal problematic affairs I've ever had. I'm doing fine, comparatively. My disappointment hasn't even resulted in a special visit to my therapist.

This whole thing happened because I'm doing what lots of single-yet-dating gay (or whatever) people my age are doing, and it's the sort of thing we're all dealing with.

There were no arsonists in this last affair. No old men seeking young men to go all "Death in Venice" with. No former hookers. No family members. No married men. No illegal massage techniques. No online-dating situations. There were no ceramic clowns. No one had a nervous breakdown. No one sneezed in the middle of a really deep kiss. This time, the drag attack had nothing to do with the actual affair itself. I was awake during all sexual activity. Nothing required a special trip to South Carolina. And no one defecated on more sensitive parts of my anatomy.

There were no overly-attentive, possibly psycho mega-stalkers. (I'm not even one this time.)

This is all a sign, I guess, that I'm learning.

So I'm going to write a romantic comedy. Or try to.

Anyone here know how to write fiction?