Friday, July 02, 2004

Avoiding any obnoxious Sacheen Littlefeather jokes.



Yes, beyond question, Marlon Brando was a great actor. I mean, STREETCAR, THE GODFATHER, ON THE WATERFRONT and the odd, weird but good LAST TANGO IN PARIS.

But, and I think a lot of the retrospectives might gloss over this, I feel it necessary to remind you all that Brando was a damn nutjob.

I mean, seriously. The guy was freakin' looney toon. He went from method acting to method derangement.

The Sacheen Littlefeather incident at the Oscars. His psychopath children attempting to shoot themselves or one another.

I remember reading articles about ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU. How, through "inspiration," he insisted that his title character wear an ice bucket on top of his head throughout the entire film. Check it out. Seriously. The dude's wearing an ice bucket on his head in that freakish, clone-midget piano scene.

Apparently, during filming of THE SCORE, he kept calling director Frank Oz "Miss Piggy" - because he used to be a Muppetteer - and he refused to be on the set with him because of the guy's past with the Muppets.

And Brando was big as a damn house. I mean, look at how good looking he once was. Jeez.

So, yeah, pay tribute to the great performances of one of the best actors of our time this weekend. Watch THE GODFATHER. Raise a glass.

But also take a moment out of your heartfelt goodbye to realize that, you know, Marlon Brando hasn't given a significant performance since SUPERMAN. And he hasn't given an actually good performance since years before that.

Oh wait, I forgot APOCALYPSE NOW. Where he gave a really great performance as a complete looney-toon.

For the past 30 or so years, come on, the dude's been an around-the-bend lunatic.

EDITOR'S NOTE: I didn't mean to offend any friends of actress Maria Cruz by incorrectly stating that Sacheen Littlefeather wasn't a real Indian. She is. She was. I was wrong. I made the error thinking that she was a hired actress. She was an actress, but she is also a Native American.

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