Enter the ex.

Last night, my scary poet/loan shark ex-boyfriend Ash, the one who mentioned me in his book, the one I "reunited" with for an evening in November and the one whose house burned down around Christmas, found his way into my bookstore while I was there.

Ash walked in with this guy, who was dressed like an Apple Store Clerk because I think he was an Apple Store clerk, and immediately hugged me. The Apple Store Clerk walked on, and Ash started to talk to me.

This is OK if weird, I was thinking.

Then, Ash starts talking about how this Apple Store Clerk guy he's with is his second cousin. And then, I remember, that Ash admitted that he was currently "dating" his cousin - in the same way that I "reunited" with him.

So ick, I was thinking. I was alone at the registers, looking around to see if other staff were watching me.

"Oh, this is your cousin," I said, indicating that I both remembered and disapproved of Ash's familial relations when told of them back in November.

And Ash clarified to me that this Apple Store Clerk wasn't the second cousin he was sleeping with. That cousin is actually the Apple Store Clerk's gay identical twin brother.

"Yeah, we just left him at dinner to come here," Ash said, rather loudly. "And he was pissed about that. He, like, shouted out in the restaurant that he'd give me a rim job if I'd stay with him."

I walked away, back toward my register. Seriously. I just turned and walked away. I'd been talking to Ash for less than a minute at the place WHERE I WORK, and he'd somehow included the words 'rim job' in the conversation in record time.

He walked away to go hang out with his incest partner's identical twin brother. Then, later, he walked up to me, introduced me to his non-incest cousin; and they left.

Yeah, I'm so glad I broke up with him ... back in 1995.