Thursday, August 11, 2005

An odd reason to do the honest thing.

I am never going after another man's boyfriend again.

Last night, I saw this gay love triangle play out on CHEATERS, and it was the most hilariously sad and unnecessary case of bad drama ever. (It wasn't as good as the episode of CHEATERS where Joey Greco, the show's host, was stabbed and dumped in a lake by a guy he chased down in a speedboat, but that's only because that's the best episode of CHEATERS ever.)

At the end of last night's high gay drama ep of CHEATERS, a camera crew was chasing around the hot, cheating boyfriend and hot, clandestine lover around the pool table in a gay bar (which looked kinda like Boneshaker's) while the jilted, fey lover, in a business suit, yelled out, over and over, "HOW CAN YOU DO THIS TO ME, YOU (BLEEP)!!! YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A (BLEEP)!!! I WANT YOU OUTTA MY HOUSE!!!"

The cheater, of course, was all, "I'm going to explain this to you but not here!!! Not in front of a camera crew!!!" (Every time someone says this on CHEATERS, they sound completely reasonable to me, but such logic makes for bad TV - so the CHEATERS crew has to follow them around and pick a fight.)

I tried to think of the times when I've been interested in someone else's boyfriend, when I've tried to coax away someone else's boyfriend or when I couldn't understand why someone else's boyfriend didn't want me back when we apparently had chemistry. And I realized that I could be another "clandestine lover guy" on a gay episode of CHEATERS.

The cameras would never chase me around a pool table, I don't think, for I'm not often near a pool table. But, still, I don't want to get cornered in a movie theater parking lot by a convoy of black SUVs while Joey Greco throws a microphone in my face, making me look more like white trash than I already do.

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