Friday, October 07, 2005

Things to do if you're not headed to Savannah.

- So I'm heading to Savannah today to spend the weekend with Lupo and his boyfriend/personal artisan Kenn. In thinking up things to do while in Savannah (but trying to avoid any Paula Deen, FORREST GUMP or MIDNIGHT IN THE GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL attractions), the only thing I can think of doing is grabbing a copy of RIDING THE BUS WITH MY SISTER from Hallmark, so the three of us can collectively mock Rosie O'Donnell's performance as an "inspirational" mentally retarded woman with a loud clown voice. (Yeah, I got the idea from this week's GILMORE GIRLS, but the clip they showed looked hilarious.) In addition to learning lessons about life from Rosie, we also may be able to discern how to act like a mannequin from her co-star Andie MacDowell, my friend Stephen's least favorite actress. ("Oh my God, Andie MacDowell can't even deliver a convincing line in a hair care commercial," Stephen says wildly.) OK, right now, I'm looking at the photo I posted, and I'm noticing that Rosie's feet are in the same bowlegged stance that mine take. Maybe I'm in no place to judge her. Wait, mine do that on purpose. I can completely judge her. Game on, Rosie. Game on!

- SOMETHING WICKED, the new, haunted, creepy, sexy adult show at the Center for Puppetry Arts, has arrived in time for Halloween, my favorite holiday. The Center is calling the show a "dark cabaret" hosted by creepy characters named Banshee, Wraith, Siren, Specter and Vox - who I think are all going to get turns having their way with the audience. (A new article in SOVO suggests SOMETHING WICKED's a bit homoerotic. So, you know, cool.) And, from the sound of things, this creepfest is not a show to miss. The show opens October 12 and runs through the 29th, when the Center will hold an extra-dark late-night performance. This should be all kinds of horrific fun.

***** My friends at the Center have provided me with a special treat to offer my readers, by the way. They've given me one pass for two people to give away to a preview show of SOMETHING WICKED at the Center for Puppetry Arts. The special show is Tuesday, October 11, at 8 p.m. First person to e-mail me here a note with the subject line 'BY THE PRICKING OF MY THUMBS' will win the pass-for-two!!!!! Remember, it's an ADULTS ONLY show.

- This is not a fun week for me to have a low bank account. In addition to having to actually budget around buying gas, something I used to not fret over, I also couldn't indulge this week in new albums from Liz Phair and Fiona Apple. With SOMEBODY'S MIRACLE, reviews say Phair's continuing her course toward poppier, commercial music, which is fine by be since LIZ PHAIR was a great album. As for Fiona Apple's EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE, it's taken six years for Apple's follow-up, and reviews suggest that it's a really strong, if not commercial, album. If you already love Fiona, though, this one's supposed to be just what you want.

- How hilarious are the ads for the new Al Pacino-Matthew McConaughey movie TWO FOR THE MONEY? I mean, honestly, Pacino gets lines like, "If you want something from me, you're gonna have to RIP IT OUT OF MY TALONS!!!" The idea that Pacino has talons, or as he calls them 'taaaaaaaaaaa-lons,' is just ludicrous. HOO-HA! I love Pacino when he chews scenery, given the most ridiculous speeches known to man, in SCENT OF A WOMAN and THE DEVIL'S ADVOCATE. TWO FOR THE MONEY, aside from the shirtless, sweaty shots of McConaughey, looks just horrible.
- EVERYTHING IS ILLUMINATED opens in town this week. The movie's gotten good reviews, but I couldn't get into that book to save my life.

- THE COLORADO KID, a new book from Stephen King that's being released exclusively in mass-market paperback, is supposed to be a throwback to old pulp crime novels. It's cheap. It looks like a fun read. I'd pick it up whenever.

- WALLACE & GROMIT cartoon shorts are the best, funniest, Oscar-winning stuff most people have never heard of. Now that the full-length feature WALLACE & GROMIT: THE CURSE OF THE WERE-RABBIT is being released in theaters, more people will hopefully discover and appreciate this stuff.
- I wonder if celebrites are having a competition to see who can come up with the most ridiculous baby name. This week, as you've probably read, Nicolas Cage has named his newborn son Kal-El Coppola Cage. Thus, in case you didn't know, Cage is nuts, and he's named his baby the Kryptonian name of Superman, whom Cage almost played in a movie once. Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, when they have their baby, are going to have to reach deep into their Scientology craziness to come up with a name dumber than Kal-El. So here's this week's question: If you were a celebrity and could name your baby the most ridiculous thing possible and get away with it, what off-the-wall name would you give your baby? Try your level best not to ground the name in any kind of reality. Try to outdo Nicolas Cage.

No comments: