Thursday, March 09, 2006

He's got the swagger thing down.

At one point during the show at the Fox, Michael Buble apologized to every man in the audience dragged there by his girlfriend/wife. Then, he said he was gonna get the wives so hot that the husbands would be able to "ride that all the way home." Then, he referred to himself as "that goddamn Clay Aiken."

I think that was my favorite moment. Or when he kept cursing lightly onstage, while still maintaining wholesome cuteness and vague sexuality. At one point, after saying something legitimately frank and crass - yet still charming, he had to apologize to the parents of a six-year-old girl who was sitting in the front row.

At another point, he jumped into the audience, grabbed other people's cameras and took photos of himself. He was, of course, mobbed during this "spontaneous" act, which even had cues for music and lighting. Then, jumping back onstage, he thanked the "guy who just grabbed my ass ... you know who you are."

Buble also insulted the LAMEST OPENING ACT COMEDIAN I'VE EVER SEEN, calling him a "dick."

Buble, a 30-year-old from Canada, seriously cannot dance at all but doesn't have to. He's got swagger and slippery shoes that make it look like he's choreographed, even though he's just wiggling his feet with every step.

Watching fortysomething yentas go CRAZY while mobbing the stage and jumping up and down wild mad in an orgy of dance to, of all things, a soft rock version of "Save the Last Dance for Me" was hilarious. During the song, he let the mob of women reach up on the stage and grope him. Oh, and he shook hand of the one balding queen who broke through the mob.

Of course, I wished that I'd had a date. Or someone else there who would've both helped me enjoy it more while openly mocking it.

The stage was made up like a Bobby Darrin nightclub wet dream. So ridiculous. Yet part of me wanted to jump onstage in the middle of it and do my own schtick-and-swagger-and-standards bit in a Hugo Boss suit. (Buble wore the suit the entire time, never even taking off the jacket. I wanted an idea of what he looked like under the suit. Best I can tell, he's fit, about 6'0, probably-straight-but-not-about-to-say-so. He's got the swagger thing down.)

Buble is clearly Branson-bound and knows it, but twas fun. The crowd was 95 percent Buckhead yenta and disgruntled husband, 5 percent gay.

And the star was very "I can't believe these chumps are buying this shit ...," laughing all the way to the bank. And whatever his sexual preference is, dude is getting LAID.

No comments: