A door that keeps revolving in a half-forgotten dream.

When Amie and I went to a Chinese restaurant this weekend, my fortune cookie message was a dud.

You will be getting new clothes.

Meanwhile, Amie's promised her a life of success in the entertainment industry, so she said she would rather have my sucky fortune than her own. Maybe she realized that being a modern celebrity was a taxing, annoying prospect that she didn't want to bear. She maybe thought of photographers chasing her like Britney Spears, having to live up to the hype. She probably didn't want to shave her head in open defiance of her "image." She likely imagined the ROLLING STONE covers that would predict her downfall, saying things like "Amie: An American Tragedy."

She said she'd rather have my fortune because, faced with the alternative of having her face on US WEEKLY, it seemed infinitely less stressful to get a new pair of socks.

***********

I'm here at my desk, looking over some other fortune cookie messages that I've collected. I save the ones that I like or the ones I cannot understand.
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You will make many changes before setting satisfactorily.

This one is taped up in my cube at work because it reminds me whenever I look at it that I'm not satisfactorily settled yet and that my future is ahead of me.
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You will soon be crossing desert sands for a fun vacation.

If I think of this one as a metaphor, it makes me think of keeping hope in spite of challenges. If I think of this as literal, I'm bummed out. I can't stand the sand and cannot imagine that crossing a desert would make for a fun vacation for anyone. Chevy Chase certainly didn't make it look fun in that first NATIONAL LAMPOON'S VACATION.

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The constructive use of riches is better than their possession.

This one is my current favorite. I got it around the time in November when I interviewed for a job that I didn't get, but my preparation for the interview showed me that I was capable - when properly motivated - to do some really extensive research and really good work. I was proud of how I prepared for the job interview, even though I didn't get the job, and that seemed like a decent enough accomplishment since I feel inert most days. The fortune reminds me to use the tools I have, that it's not merely enough to know you have talents. You have to use them.
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I did not save my worst fortune cookie message ever, but I do remember it verbatim.

This biscuit pleases you.

No, it really didn't. And, if I was one of those people who put 'in bed' at the end of all my fortune cookie messages, the biscuit still wouldn't please me.