No tubs were soiled during the making of this film.

Last night, Ron and I went to see the new David Gordon Green film, UNDERTOW, which Roger Ebert gave four stars.

I thought it was pretty good, though it didn't really have a third act to its story. It just had its characters run and run and run, not really giving them anywhere to go.

Ron, though, hated it. Hated it. Hated hated hated it.

"I thought Dermot Mulroney was OK in it," he said. "But everybody else was just boring. And I kept getting tired of seeing dirty people in dirty places everywhere. I mean, did they not know anyone CLEAN?"

"That's a David Gordon Green film for you," I said. "Everyone's usually poor, kinda dirty, and there's always a broken-down car in someone's yard."

The film also has a 10-year-old actor, who looks like Milla Jovovich in the face. His constant need for a haircut becomes distracting.

After watching UNDERTOW, I felt like seeing something predictable, Hollywood, feel-good and pretty. Since SHAUN OF THE DEAD doesn't fit that bill and ALFIE didn't come out until today, I opted to watch SHALL WE DANCE, which Marley had said was OK.

And it was just OK. It was exactly what I expected it to be.

I'm one of the few people in the world who still likes Jennifer Lopez, I think, although I miss when she used to do movies that actually required deep acting. If you want to see a good J. Lo movie, your best option is still the completely awesome OUT OF SIGHT.