Things to do if you're into redneck people-watching.

- Apparently, some days during the week, you can head down to the Alliance Theater and attend tapings of Jeff Foxworthy's BLUE COLLAR TV. I was tempted to take Brad with me to criticize the show existential-puppet-style, but I'm scared that, if I ask him, I'll sound like I've actually seen an episode or that I want to actually see this. I just thought it would be fun to do. You know, break out the overalls, borrow somebody's pickup truck and enjoy good Waffle House humor. (My friend Dena admits she goes to tractor pulls and monster-truck shows. But she says she goes for the people-watching. I figure attending a BLUE COLLAR TV taping is like that.)
- BATMAN BEGINS, which is really excellent, is playing at the Mall of Georgia on IMAX, and it's completely worth a trip down. The experience is amazing. Whenever the tank-style Batmobile rolls on the screen, the seats in the theater shake. Oh, and Christian Bale is gorgeous. The cast features two Oscar winners, three other Oscar nominees, Gary Oldman and Cillian Murphy. And, years from now, you'll want to remember this film as the one that promising actress Katie Holmes did right before her entire life was hit with a publicity-stunt disaster that ruined everything.
- My 29th birthday's on Tuesday. My friends are going to spend some time with me for that, which will be fun. Of course, I've been really, really moody and mean this week, so I don't know how that will turn out. It's probably better if I don't think about it. It's bummed me out far more than I thought it would. (I'm never actually going to lie about my age, by the way. I just thought things would be different by now.) On the bright side, this is not a big deal.
- I should watch CITIZEN KANE again. It's something you should do once every two years, at least, and it's a good movie to help you re-examine priorities.
- Last week's HONEYMOONERS diatribe is nothing compared to the movie I have to bitch about this week. This week, Hollywood sees fit to give us THE PERFECT MAN, where an idealistic, sunny woman who looks like Heather Locklear can't find a good man to date. Um, you know what my complaint is, probably, without me even having to say it. But, if someone who looks like Heather Locklear can't find a date, what on Earth does this say about the rest of us? (I realize the movie argues that she can't find a good man, but it's still a movie where Heather Locklear can't find a date. That's worse than the time Hollywood tried to tell us that Rachael Leigh Cook was ugly.) Beyond that, the movie has Hilary Duff in it. Box office numbers are reportedly down for the year. With films like this, I'm surprised audiences don't burst from the doors of the theater, screaming in fear.
- In celebration of the Michael Jackson verdict, read Tom Perrotta's LITTLE CHILDREN, or take a trip to Chuck E. Cheese. Skee-ball still rocks.
- Janet Evanovich's new Stephanie Plum book, ELEVEN ON TOP, comes out on Tuesday. So, if you've hypothetically screamed at your mother this week about how unhappy you are at your job or something, you may want to get it for her because that series always makes her laugh out loud.
- Speaking of the puppets, the Center for Puppetry Arts is opening up a second run of one of its most popular shows beginning Tuesday. It's called AVANTI, DA VINCI!, and the reviews from the original run were really, really good. The show's supposed to be hilarious, and I'm seeing it next week. It's got Leonardo DaVinci as a Batman-style superhero, fighting for "truth, justice and the Italian way."
- Pride is coming next week. Brace yourself.
- Do the usual chores.
- Check last week's list.
- The weather's been really nice lately. Go outside. Go swimming.
- ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW is the closing night film for the Atlanta Film Festival on Saturday, and reviews for it have been really, really good.
- Listen to a CD from a favorite band that you discovered in college, like Soul Coughing. Former lead singer Mike Doughty's new solo album is fun, anyway.
- Finally, watch a movie that you should've seen before now, but, for whatever reason, you've never watched it. I've never seen SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER. My friend Edmondson's never seen THE GODFATHER. Everybody has a movie like that. Watch one of them this week.