My Blimpie Bollywood birthday.

Mom and I went to lunch at a Cajun restaurant. Then, afterward, she wanted to break a $20 bill, so we walked down to Blimpie.

Now, Riyaz owns Blimpie, and he and his wife Feroza know me. I eat there practically everyday, which my mom knows. So she tells them, while she's ordering two brownies so that we can break the $20, that it's my birthday.

So Riyaz insists that the brownies should be free. And then, because he didn't know we'd just eaten, he offered me a free sandwich. And so, of course, I said, "No need. She needs to break the $20." But Riyaz starts bagging up the desserts, saying that it would be his pleasure because I eat there all the time and they love me.

Meanwhile, Feroza asks my mom how old I am. And my mother tells her 29, then says there will be black balloons and such next year.

So Feroza says, rejoicing like an Indian grandmother, "Oh, next year, he should be married! It's time for him to settle down!!! Next year, he'll have a wife!!!"

My mom's eyes got huge, and her face turned red. She confessed to me later that she held herself back from asking Feroza if I'd marry a man or a woman.

Riyaz insisted that the brownies be free, but he broke my mom's $20 anyway.

Then, as we got into the car, my mom just cracked up, then she went on about how nice Riyaz and Feroza are.

"So they don't know you're gay," she asserted. "That's really sweet."

"Well, there's never been an opportunity to tell them," I said. "Usually I just order a sandwich. You'd think they'd know, though. Every day, I go there. They change the channel on the TV, and they let me watch DAYS OF OUR LIVES."

It was like a Bollywood spectacle at the Blimpie. Riyaz and Feroza are fantastic.