I misspelled "Dave Eggers." I know.

I sent this cover letter, along with a revised version of "Every Now and Then ...," to McSweeney's print submissions division, then caught my ghastly, horrible spelling error. Them's the breaks.
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Dear McSweeney's editor who happens to check this mailbox,

Your website says that you don't generally publish memoir, aside from some exceptions. (The exception probably being pieces written by Dave Eggars.) I understand that and, yet, am sending you this short piece anyway. It's probably unwise to point out at the beginning of a cover letter that I know what I'm sending doesn't really qualify. Please find such audacity amusing, I beg you. I want to be published.

I've heard from friends that this piece is pretty funny and is something they'd recommend to others if it were published. (They might be lying to me, and sending it along for formal consideration is a way to shut them up.)

There's a wholly obnoxious pseudonym on the submission. Feel free to laugh at it. I got it from a Lightning Seeds song.

I hope you enjoy this story about an embarrassing moment from my childhood more than the countless other stories about embarrassing moments from other childhoods that you've probably read. The first sentence of this very paragraph may not be grammatically correct.

Everyone probably writes you something quirky to make an impression. Hope mine worked.

Thanks,

BC