It's a start.

I used one of the resume kits on AJCjobs.com to post a makeshift resume online, which is a step forward for me that I suppose I should be happy about. It asked me for an objective statement, and I think I said that I wanted a job that - in describing it - I realized was both a longshot and something I didn't appear qualified to do. Still, the resume's out there.

How do you go about changing careers in the hope that you'll find something that you actually feel driven about doing? It's so weird for me to feel passionate about doing my bookstore job, but that's what's happened. I can de-stress about it because it's part-time. I can be confident about it because, at this point, I know the store and the way the store operates pretty well, and I get compliments from customers about my service.

But I don't know exactly how to take the next step forward in terms of "career goals." At this point, I'm uncertain about them.

I met this photographer named Gerard Lange at my store on Friday, and I went to see his work at this furniture store called City Issue. Some of the pieces were really good, so I e-mailed him something complimentary in regard to them, which spurred me to talk about art and think about art and discuss art in a manner I haven't since I went to the Tate in London.

Last night, I ended up talking with Scotty about art history for a good three hours, and he said that I "got" art in an impressive way. So this morning I called the Mary Pauline Gallery in Augusta, a place I used to frequent and cover for the newspaper there. And Molly the owner was glad to hear from me, though she couldn't understand why I would call her from out of the blue. And I honestly couldn't tell her.

But, in talking to her, I felt like my confident self, my ambitious self. I am capable of stating opinions without apology, capable of intelligent discussion without downplaying myself first.

I like that version of me. I want to get back to him. Such things are possible if you try.