Jenipher does impressions.

My friend Jenipher, who is about to relocate to Orlando, has been steadily building a repertoire of random pop-culture-moment impressions since I met her at the Gwinnett Place B. Dalton when I was 14, two or three days before her 16th birthday.



One of the first impressions I'd ever heard Jenipher do was the Girl in the Pit's "Precious the Dog" monologue from THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS.

"Don't you MAKE ME hurt your dog!," Jenipher would emote with conviction at the conclusion of her get-me-out-of-this-damn-pit soliloquy.

(Come to think of it, now that she has a little furry white dog of her own, I bet Jenipher's pit girl speech would be even better. Maybe she and I should work together on Halloween costumes, even though Jenipher's not at all a size 14.)

Coupled with my personal version of Buffalo Bill's "It rubs the lotion on its skin, it does so whenever it's told ..." speech, it's a wonder to behold.

(In fact, I did my Buffalo Bill voice at a barbecue this weekend. People were STUNNED.)

Jenipher, of course, is also able to do a spot-on rendition of the song "When You're Alone," as performed by that annoying little girl with the nasal voice in HOOK. Jenipher's version is a work of sick genius.

Lately, Jenipher has added her take on "Danny from THE REAL WORLD: AUSTIN discovering his mother has died" to her repertory.

"Don't be playin', Dad ... DON'T BE PLAYIN' ...," Jenipher sobs.

Oh, and she can sing the title of R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" over and over with uncanny skill.

If I could get her to do it for sound files, you guys would be plenty entertained.